Potty Talk.

We have spent more time than I'd like to admit in malls over the last 2 weeks. I finally found some dishes, though MJ and C keep setting the table with the melamine. I need to remember to ask them to use the new stuff, but I always forget until it's already set and I don't want to make them do it over. It's not exactly a huge deal, you know? Anyway, when I bought the dishes, they came in boxes of four settings each, and there were two sales people who came over and opened all three of the boxes, checking each dish for imperfections. Which, considering the fact that they found one was pretty awesome. They traded out one bowl for the display bowl and sent us on our merry way.

Yesterday, we had to exchange a fan that fell over on it's own accord the other morning and broke. They offered to assemble the replacement for us, and while they did, they found that one of the bolts that had to be replaced so the "cage" around the fan blades could be put into place was stripped and couldn't be removed, so they opened up another box and got a new part, finished assembling it, and sent us off happy and smiling.

Everything I'm buying here that is being checked like this before hand is the same stuff I'd be buying in the States, mind you. It's not, like, cheap, knock-offs that are prone to breakage. This is why it is so awesome that they check everything before selling it. I would have been grumpy about the marked bowl and had to have returned the fan with the stripped bolt. By taking the time to check it, they saved everyone involved time and frustration. I LOVE THIS.

Believe it or not, I bought two light bulbs, and they checked those, too. Awesome.

Wait... I have let my love for fantastic customer service get me off track. Focus.

As I was saying, the girls and I have spent a lot of time at malls recently. Festival is comparable to an American mall in just about every way. We learned about one difference, though, when we'd been there for a particularly long time and, as is wont to occur, the children had to use the bathroom. We found where we needed to be, and discovered that there was no toilet paper. Not as in they were out, but as in there was none to be had. Happily for my children's tushies, I had some tissues in my bag, so they made due. There was only one stall not already occupied, so we took turns and made our way out and everyone was happy with their newly emptied bladders.

We were back a few days later, and I was prepare again as it came time to use the bathrooms. This time there were several open stalls, however, we found that only half of them had toilet seats on the toilets. Ummm... Ok. We opted for those WITH seats, did our business, and moved along.

When our quest for dishes failed at Festival, we headed for the SM South Mall to try there. Again, this mall is comparable to a mall in the States. Except for the bathrooms. I was prepared with tissue, mind you, and I knew that for some reason, some of the stalls may not have seats in them, but I was not prepared to find that at this mall, none of the toilets would have seats on them at all. Not only did they not have seats, but the rims were all filthy. The kids insisted it was an emergency time, so I went ahead and told them to try to squat and not touch the rim at all. Not easy for 4- and 6-year olds who usually have to get on their toes to sit on a toilet in the first place.

They had thorough showers when we got home...

I explained all this to A that night in the most restrained "WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS PLACE??" tone of voice that I could muster. That is when he felt it timely to explain that it's a general practice here in the Philippines to squat over the bowl. "Oh, really?" says I, "They just do the butt hover all the time? What about the kids who are too short to hover?"

"No," A replied, "They squat over the seat. As in, they put their feet up on the rim and squat over the toilet bowl, and then get down when they are done. At my gym there are signs in the bathroom stalls instructing people to sit on the seats and not to stand on the rim. It's pretty common practice here."

That is when I curled up and died.

I can't even imagine the chaos that would ensue if I tried to teach my children how to stand on the rim of a toilet bowl. They'd be soaked in about 3 seconds. I will be packing Clorox disinfecting wipes in my purse from now on, and the kids are on strict orders to empty every waste product from their bodies before we leave the house.